My Family Experiences

I grew up in a very traditional (old-fashioned) family, where my father was the breadwinner and my mother stayed home with us three kids. I don’t think I would have wanted it any other way, but it certainly shaped my current views about family life and will most definitely affect my family life in the future. My dad was the “head disciplinarian” in our household and constantly gave us lectures about life lessons. We would always go straight to my mother if we wanted a new toy since we knew she would give in. Both of my parents drilled good manners into us from the very beginning so they were always very critical of the friends we had over who were ill-mannered.

As a white family living in the “up and coming” town of Hopkinton, MA, we faced little hardship. Living in a predominantly white town made us kids quite sheltered to the world of diversity around us. It was hard for us to fathom how some kids were forced to grow up in neighborhoods teeming with crime. It has definitely caused me to look down upon women who have children out of wedlock (especially those who are not financially stable to bring a child into the world). Because I have been raised in a family with both a mother and a father, I have deemed this model to be the norm (and the most healthy). My experiences in Hopkinton, MA and growing up with a loving family have certainly shaped my beliefs on my personal definition of the family. Because I have witnessed so much success within my own immediate family, I will strive to replicate this model if I start a family in the future. In other words, I want to marry a husband who will be the strict disciplinarian and I would like to stay at home with the kids (and be the nurturing mother). I am aware that it may not be financially possible, but it would be the ideal situation for me.

Even though I consider myself as coming from a good family, I still feel like families like mine are rare these days. There are many more working mothers, which I believe has become the norm. Mothers that stay at home are often looked down upon and are criticized for “sitting around all day and doing nothing,” (which I believe is rarely the case). I feel as if I see so many dysfunctional families, which gives me little faith in my own generation. I’m not saying my family is perfect, but I feel like functional and loving families are becoming few and far between. The way in which I was raised has caused me to become very aware of the type of people that I should be dating. My last two serious relationships have taught me a lot about what I want someday in a husband. Both of these guys were very nice and fun to be with, but they were not "husband material." I was able to realize through helpful input from my parents. They have never told me who I can and cannot date, but have always offered me advice when I felt as if something was not right.

Growing up in a heterosexual family has also caused me to have mixed feelings about gay marriages. I certainly do not think that a homosexual union is natural by any means, but I am not necessarily against gay marriages. I believe that these beliefs are a product of growing up in a rather conservative heterosexual family.

In conclusion, living as a white female in a predominantly white town with a loving heterosexual family has caused me to have certain beliefs that are naturally ingrained in me. You grow accustomed to only what you know, making it difficult sometimes to think "outside the box." I absolutely love my family and I am thankful everyday for who I have become. I know that life doesn't necessarily turn out the way you plan it, but I would someday like to start a family similar to that of the one I grew up in. Times will certainly change, but I would like to hope that my morals and values will not.