Divorce

1. Divorce interferes heavily with proper parenting techniques and deprives the children of having two parental figures at the same time. A study conducted over a period of five years showed that a child who is forced to remain in a dysfunctional marriage will have the most severe behavior problems as opposed to any other kind of family. Another long term study showed that divorce can cause two different extremes in behavior. They found that boys who were behaviorally difficult before the divorce got even worse following the divorce. On the other side of the spectrum, they found that girls in a single parent, mother-headed household, were exceptionally popular, self-confident, and well behaved. This account of good behavior can be attributed to the fact that the mother was not always available and the girl was sometimes forced to assume certain responsibilities. This of course is not all cases. It is the whole process preceding the divorce, not the divorce itself, that determines how an individual will cope and adjust. The children caught in disputed custody cases are the most prone to emotional and behavior problems. Another study also showed that girls had lowest self-esteem in families where the father showed a complete lack of interest in his daughter's life. In situations where parents can reduce tension and manage anger, successful co-parenting will ensue and the child has a reduced chance of developing emotional or behavioral problems. Overall, divorce is usually never a positive occurrence and will affect each child in a different way, especially depending upon he situation. Time will certainly facilitate the healing process, but some long-term effects never go away.

2. The two years following a separation/divorce are known as the "crisis period" for both adults and children. This is a period where the child will externalize and internalize the conflict. The child will demonstrate anything from aggression, disobedience, and lying to depression, anxiety, or withdrawal. Most of these children will also suffer from long term effects. In a study from the San Fransisco suburbs, out 60 families, "Almost half of the children, entered adulthood as worried, underachieving, self-deprecating, and sometimes angry young men and women." Not all children suffer terrible long term effects, but it becomes more of a threat when the divorce is messy. One of the most critical factors in determining short term and long term effects is how well the parent having custody of the kids operates as a parent. If that parent is already distressed, he/she will most likely not be able to cope properly with their own child's distress. The loss of income from the father will also add to the mother's distress. Another factor that determines short term and long term effects on children is the level of conflict between the two parents. As the level of conflict decreases between the mother and father, the repercussions that children suffer may be alleviated. A third factor is the type of relationship the child has with each parent. Children who see their father regularly may have a quicker adjustment period to the divorce. Joint legal custody may also play a role in the increased well-being for a child.

3. The three most important influences on spousal bereavement include the age of the husband and wife, how the spouse died, and what the couple's life was life prior to the death. When the loss occurs later in life, usually the spouse already had to witness his/her peers go through the same thing. In a way, this prepares the spouse to respond with lower levels of emotional reactivity. The period of grief is usually significantly shorter than those of younger widows and widowers. The cause of death also plays a huge role in the response from the bereaved. When the period before death is long, drawn-out and characterized by a lot of pain and suffering, the period after spousal death for the bereaved usually showed a dramatic decrease in symptoms. When the death is more sudden and tragic, the bereaved is significantly more grief-stricken and usually must struggle with a long period of devastation. Finally, the type of relationship the couple had before the death can also determine how the bereaved spouse will react. Couples that had problematic marriages, will deal with spousal loss much better. Some widows will even experience feelings of relief and a higher self-esteem if their husband had been controlling and/or stifling. On the other hand, couples that had healthy marriages and were emotionally attached, have the most trouble coping with spousal loss.