Domesticity

1) As illustrated in Nancy and Evan's story, the egalitarian myth involves feminist undertones and calls for "a balance of spheres and equal power." Nancy was an egalitarian in that she wanted her and Evan to share the same amount of responsibilities during the "second shift," which really translated into raising their child and performing housework. Nancy's feminist side caused her to put her motherly/housewife role on overdrive and take charge of the family, which made her appear as a single mother. This of course caused much tension between her and Evan as she was the dominating force in the household. She used emotion work to keep her emotions in check and keep her from exploding in frustration with Evan. She used the upstairs-downstairs myth to try to justify that Evan was doing equal amounts of work in the house. She believed that she had control of the "upstairs" which consisted of the living room, dining room, kitchen, etc. and Evan had control on the "downstairs" which included the garage and taking care of the dog. She tried convincing herself that they both shared equal roles, when in reality that was hardly the case. In the end ideologies of both Nancy and Evan clashed significantly which certainly led to a turbulent marriage, but luckily Nancy was able to pull through mostly due to her self control of her emotions and maintaining her energetic side.

This chapter was very interesting because I was able to compare Nancy and Evan to that of my mom and dad except my mother has a completely different attitude. Growing up in my household, my dad was the breadwinner of the family, while my mom stayed home and cared for us three children and did 95% of the housework. My dad also shared equal responsibility in disciplining us as well. This situation happened to work out quite well in my family. I have always seen my mom and dad as having equal roles and they have always operated in that manner. This is not to say that this situation works in every family, but it certainly happens to flourish in mine. The difference with Nancy and Evan was that Nancy was doing all the housework, raising the children, AND sustaining a career. She also held much stronger feminist views as opposed to my mother. These factors certainly contribute to Nancy's frustrations with her marriage. An equal division of labor is crucial in a healthy marriage. To this day, my mom and dad are still madly in love with each other!

2) Williams introduced domesticity as a natural occurrence in which men belong to the market due to their aggressiveness and natural competitiveness and women belong in the home because of their natural abilities to maintain nurturing relationships with the children. There are many constraints that domesticity places on both men and women. One constraint is that it marginalizes a woman's position in the marketplace and usually limits her amount of income. A lot of women are economically vulnerable and cannot work full-time as a result of the needs of the children. Domesticity also takes a toll on men. It minimizes their involvement with the children and limits face to face interaction. As a result, the relationship between father and the children may suffer. Lastly, domesticity also causes men to feel pressured into performing as ideal workers which keeps them working long hours. This may very well take its toll on some marriages. The pressure of being the breadwinner of the family may become all too overwhelming, which would eventually increase the tension between the married couple.

Domesticity is an ideology that has existed for hundreds of years. As seen in videos during class, it exists in mostly all cultures, societies, and time periods. In colonial America, domesticity was certainly alive. Childbearing was much more difficult in those days, so many women were midwives (as we saw in the diary of a midwife video in class). These women played a huge motherly role in the colonies in which they lived as even assisted other women in childrearing. Women were seen as being nurturing and loving, thus keeping the ideals of domesticity alive. On the other hand, women did participate in a lot of the same activities and jobs as did the men. And men were still expected to play a prominent role in the household. Division of labor seemed to be equal keeping the colonies well functioning. In the other movie involving the young African girl (the hunters and gatherers), domesticity was still present. Girls married very young (around the age of 10) and were expected to live with their husbands and bear children. While the men went out hunting, women would stay behind and look after the children. This is not to say that fathers played no role in childrearing. In fact, everyone was very involved in the tribe-life as a whole. Men performed trances during childbirth to aid the process and make it easier for the woman giving birth. Although both men and women both had separate roles, there was still a sense of equality among everyone and division of labor seemed to be quite fair.

3) Williams explains that women have free choice in deciding whether or not just focus on their career, just focus on the children, or focus on both. A mother's free choice can be used as a defense against discrimination, even though gender discrimination still persists. Williams argues that men and women are pigeon-holed into roles in society making it that much harder for example, a "working mother and stay-home dad" to be accepted. Society views women as the ones carrying the extra burdens of life (the children) which ultimately prevents them from performing as an ideal worker. This is not to say that they do not have the ability to perform on the same level as men, but they are viewed as having other responsibilities that divert their full attention away from the workplace. Although women say that they have this "free choice," it does not stop employers from discriminating. In my own personal experience, I work for a man who has made comments about how he will not employ women who have children. He believes that it takes away from their focus on their job and limits their actual job performance. Do I agree with this? Absolutely not. But unfortunately a lot of male employers hold these views, even if it is not directly verbalized. Therefore, I agree with Williams in that women are treated unfairly in the workplace. Although women can claim they have free choice, they are still wrongly discriminated against and should be able to have a career and care for their children at the same time.

4) The division of labor in both heterosexual and homosexual households is very similar. Lesbigay couples assume similar roles to that of a husband and wife. One must play the role as the breadwinner while the other must work more domestically in the household and with the children. According to Carrington , it is usually the partner with the most demanding and/or lucrative work schedule that works out of the house and assumes less domestic responsibility. This is very similar to that of a heterosexual couple in that there must be pre-determined roles of both partners in order to maintain a high-functioning family. Although it may be a bit harder to determine which partner will assume which role in lesbigay situations, they can still create successful relationships by compromising and maintaining equality in the division of labor. The reasons for these similarities lie within the views of society. No matter what the sexual preferences of the couple, there must be at least one partner bringing in income, and at least one partner caring for the household/children. It is certainly the most successful way to thrive in our current society. Therefore, both homosexual and heterosexual couples operate strikingly similar.